“Instead of trying to recreate what was, see what IS.”
Learning to open to the life that you have is one of the most beautiful gifts of a regular meditation practice. Disappointed that your relationship is not what it used to be? That your sweet-natured child is learning to speak up, but only with you, and only in regards to saying no to EVERYTHING you ask him to do? That your body looks or feels different than it did 1 or 20 years ago? If you can take a breath and truly let the disappointment go; if you can resist your urge to “make things as they used to be,” you may discover that there is joy in what remains.
First, there is the “space” that comes when we really and truly surrender – perhaps a moment of spaciousness and inner ease, a softening. It is not necessarily easy to do, and you do have to REALLY want it. You have to mean it. You have to commit to taking that breath instead of feeding your negative thoughts. Then, there is the result of letting go. We become more present. When we focus on what IS, sometimes we are surprised at the beauty of the present moment. Perhaps you have less time with your spouse, but your ability to be truly comforting to each other in hard times has amplified over the years. Notice that. Perhaps your child seems less easygoing because she is becoming more confident in herself. As a result, her social relationships are blossoming and she hardly ever whines any more. Notice that. Perhaps your body can feel strong and steady with less exercise than you once needed in your 20’s. Perhaps you are learning that you are actually much, much more than your body. Notice That.
If you don’t feel much like your old self anymore, try saying goodbye to your old self, and being open to who you are today.